4 Smart, Effective Ways to Shift Your Perspective on Negativity

Our perceptions of our experiences as negative can affect our lives on every level. Labeling our experiences as negative has the power to ruin relationships, decrease work performance, and increase stress levels. The good news is that you can balance your negativity bias by shifting your mindset!

Not sure where to start? Check out these smart, effective ways to shift your perception of your experiences as negative:

#1: Don’t Take It Personally A fantastic book that I always recommend to clients is Don Miguel Ruiz’s “The Four Agreements”. He lists not taking things personally as a necessary agreement to make with yourSELF. This idea is rooted in the understanding that most people act in a certain way based on their previous experiences and current circumstances. For example, perhaps someone took credit for your colleague’s work in the past, so now he doesn’t trust his team anymore. That doesn’t mean he has something against you, he simply doesn’t trust people in general. We’re all operating based on what we’ve learned from experiences, which means that how someone interacts with you is dependent on a great many factors, including their past experiences.

So, stop taking things personally. If someone is misjudging you, prove to them through your word and deed that they are wrong. Always try to be kind and authentic rather than stressing over it.

#2: Set Boundaries No matter how hard you try, you’ll never be able to please everyone, if only because what pleases us is so subjective. Couple that with demands on time and energy — friends, family, etc will always come up with new demands, and if you feel you’re unable to meet those demands it can undermine your self-esteem and keep you from focusing on your priorities.

To balance this feeling of pressure on your time and energy, you must learn to say no and set clear boundaries. If someone reacts negatively or tries to hurt you, see step 1, and go a step further by extending compassion to those pushing at your boundaries. There are reasons why we do what we do, and them feeling their needs must be met is completely human and natural.

You have the power to say no, use it.

#3: Adopt a Positive Mindset Sometimes it can be hard to be grateful for what we have when we’re dealing with an experience that’s causing us stress. However, research shows that cultivating gratitude can deepen and expand our experiences, serving as a buffer against negative thoughts.

Start with a gratitude journal and write a few things everyday that you’re grateful for. It can be as big and grand as having a child or as small as your morning cup of coffee or tea being just right. Practicing gratitude in this way reinforces positive thinking patterns and reduces negativity.

As a bonus, your positive attitude will also inspire others and strengthen your professional and personal relationships. The UnIverse has a funny way of giving us more of what we focus on, so the more you focus on being grateful for the good in your life, the more you will see opportunities arise.

#4: Find Solutions, Not Problems Our negativity bias means that we tend to focus on the problems we’re are facing at any given moment instead of actively seeking solutions. And, if we’re being one hundred percent honest, sometimes it feels good to “wallow in our sorrows”; to be sad if we’re sad or angry if we’re angry, deflecting any suggestions as to how we change or “solve” our problem. Unfortunately, this can compound already existing feelings of guilt, frustration and dissatisfaction.

The solution is that whenever you have a problem, take the steps needed to solve it. Don’t wait or hide, thinking it will go away. It might, but then again, depending on the size of the problem, it very well may not.

To do this, shift and reframe your perspective of the problem from a “problem” to a lesson, and ask yourSELF what the situation is trying to teach you. This can change it from a “problem” to a challenge, and you overcome challenges every day, now don’t you?

In conclusion, a good rule of thumb is to check your energy and see how you feel in specific circumstances or around certain people. Some people energize you while others drain you, choose to surround yourSELF as much as you can with positivity, i.e. the people, places, things and experiences that make you feel good. Build relationships with people who encourage you, support you, and cheer for you.

*Disclaimer: This article in no way acts as a substitute for clinically diagnosed depression or anxiety.

The path between Being and Doing (and why the results feel like pure magic)…

Throughout my early thirties life seemed to swing on a pendulum, between an intense work life in homelessness social care and environmental activism to evening meditation classes and bi-annual retreats at Buddhist retreat centres. Mindfulness and loving kindness practices helped me a great deal. The space between my thoughts grew wider. A deeper emotional clarity entered my life and soothed my often tired heart. I was taught and gifted an ethical, spiritual and psychological ideal that brought me a deeper sense of perspective and grounding. But I didn’t learn the art of magic.

Fast forward several years and I now run my own joyfully evolving intuitive massage and spiritual coaching business. I get drawn to the right people and places easily and often inexplicably. I receive exactly what I need when I need it IF it’s going to serve my higher path. There’s a subtle sense of destiny gently, firmly — sometimes pretty hard if I’m ever procrastinating – pushing me along and it feels loving, peaceful and sometimes a little scary. But in the recent adult past things didn’t feel like that, life didn’t move with a fluidity that felt oceanic and preordained. I often felt powerless to deal with emotions that in truth were not even mine to hold.

I loved magic as a child. I loved adventures where people took on demons and faced down impossible odds, through the jungle, on a magic carpet, down at the ranch and into the woods. I loved believing anything was possible and more. Many people still believe intuition is ‘gut feeling’, inner knowing and ‘inner-sense’, and yes it is all of those. But for me there is something far more powerful and numinous about intuition than a person listening to their belly and their heart more (as powerful as that is) instead of that ubiquitously conceived mind-brain.

“Above all, watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places. Those who don’t believe in magic will never find it.”
Roald Dahl

Two major things brought the propulsion to radically change into my life: hitting rock bottom and finally listening to my soul through another. At that point I was numb to my intuitive self, so unlike the archetypal wise owl viewing the wide and unceasing mystery of the forest with a deep clarity. I was locked on hard to a way of being that avoided any real intimacy with myself and others, a misaligned path that avoided the deep caves of denied and buried needs in childhood, that followed a chosen and beloved set of beliefs that were safely ‘rational’ in a mainstream scientific sort of way (albeit branches in cell biology, neuroscience and quantum physics are examples of broader scientific research into the nature of consciousness) but somehow left me neutered and hurt, cut away from the natural intuitive home ground of the body even if I loved the natural world that held me within it.

I went to see a psychic. A friend had dropped a quiet little bomb of a recommendation on me several months before and I filed it away. As a child I had roamed mysteries in books and later got inexplicably drawn to historical accounts of the European witch hunts whilst studying an extracurricular module at university (that was curiously and ‘randomly’ divergent from my main BA). I had friends who had received attunements to Reiki healing. I didn’t doubt them, I wasn’t a disbeliever. I just didn’t think about it.

I had tried a bit of hatha yoga and valued it in a slightly utilitarian, impatient way. I understood the importance of true embodiment as a theory. I learnt how the Cartesian split in Western philosophical thinking between mind and body, subject and object, had to some degree been about ingrained gendered (and racist) power divisions prevalent at the time and so I talked the talk about that. But the act of feeling from within the body — that was invisible for me, a state of being I had long ago left behind.

Trauma does that. Patriarchy does that. I had fidgeted and immersed my way through two ten day, ten hour Vipassana retreats and still never fully realised how much my inner child, that free little girl who moved like an unashamed flame, had checked out of her body long ago. But in the small ascetic flat of that smoky-voiced and very kind woman I saw my magical self mirrored back to me once again in sure footed words that told it straight and wise, delving deep into family lines, past wounding, divine mission, the up and coming twin flame relationship (spookily accurate) and back out to the important next steps with warm poise. The straight off unfailing accuracy sat my back right up, glowed my curious amber brown eyes with an elixir of incredulous hope. I didn’t waste precious energy over thinking this time. I was plugged in instantly.

Anyone who’s received a psychic reading or any kind of help from a true seer will know what I am writing about. The energy in a room changes during moments like this, the autonomic nervous system soothes into a delicious receptivity, for the animal body knows when it has been truly seen, heard, sensed and understood on a level that most people on the planet, often unknowingly, have had suppressed out of them.

But does everyone want to wait for a really good psychic to set them straight and reveal their true path? Because let’s be honest it’s a mixed market (and a true seer will never encourage dependency of any kind). If I had listened long ago to the truth within that already knew this channelled wisdom then I never would have have needed to see her in the first place. But that would have required me to really exist within my own feeling intuitive body, claiming my high sensitivity with pride, for the essence of what I do now was in fact always with me as a child. I was a natural healer and intuitive, giving arm and head massages to my sibling kin. I wrote songs, replied to trees, devoured fairy tales. But sensitivity and inner knowing when suppressed in children, whether through the heaviness of direct abuse or living with a traumatised unwell parent, flees and withdraws. It’s often attacked or projected onto ‘weaker’ children through bullying, screams, shouts, lashes out, or is moulded into the over giver, the enabler, the child who takes on the family’s emotions like a resident sponge (pets often do this as well). And thus the over critical mind, clever, in control, takes up its kingly role, claiming the church of never ending eternal perfectionism.

I left the psychic’s flat feeling more alive and hopeful than I had since I was a young teen. In a way that was a tragedy. And she saw that. But now was the time to get moving, to take the insights she had given me — both profoundly spiritual and refreshingly practical — and start building the real castle on solid, robust, self-loving land, not a shaky, self loathing over-giving sand dune.

But here’s the thing. Living your purpose and a life of magic isn’t like the career advice they give you as a teenager. This playful coyote path back to vitality and abundance can feel both as linear and ‘irrational’ as it can get. It involves a delightful tango between the doing and being, a dance that feeds you the right clues and symbols…sometimes at the very last midnight minute, that senses the next move far more astutely the further you release emotional and energetic blocks (often held in the body) and limiting beliefs, that forces you to let go of control for the Plan is far bigger than you.

You have to take risks and speak up about your true gifts. So you get friendly with fear. You wake up and live with surrender. You wriggle and writhe like a snake when you encounter that old buried shame and breathe and love it all anyway and walk out in glee beneath the cool delicious rain.

I’ve always been a big Leo doer from a very young age but this kind of motivated action feels very different. It’s a listening type of willpower, one that knows creative ideas are really floating spirits on the wind waiting to be claimed, and that holding a deeply listening ear of Being is an absolute requirement.

‘It is your responsibility to keep your mind open. It is your responsibility to keep your heart open. And once you learn to do that you will feel joy all of the time.’

Michael A. Singer, ‘The

When I started out anew at 35 I didn’t know I would lose certain things, tightly held ideas, old hurts, work within a system that no longer felt right. I didn’t know how rigorous this journey would take me into buried pain and back out to hope and magic and faith.

The shape of my life’s purpose, the style, the vocation, the beautiful sounds and places and people that have held my precious vision and supported me — none of those would have come to me without the courage to finally let go and listen within, to old terrain that I now see refracted a new.

Photo by Marek Szturc on Unsplash

Addicted To Pain

Who could imagine sitting outdoors with howling winds of ice stinging your cheeks, burning your ears, and whistling up the leg of your Bermuda shorts? Addiction to pain and misery is a drug most people don’t recognize. They don’t realize they’re sitting in the cold on purpose nor do they ask themselves why they don’t get up and be where it’s warm and comfortable. Suffering is mandatory in their world. Taking a risk is the dare to experience happiness measured by the threat of punishment if caught in the hands of joy.

Flesh veils the abundant spirit and darkness whispers that love has abandoned itself like water divorcing the ocean, grass rejecting green, and snow saddened by its lack of ice. Deceived, they call love to hunt them down in the darkened wilderness and join with them again and all this they do while padlocking the gate, closing the windows, battening down the shutters and double bolting the doors. Why doesn’t love enter my home, they wonder. It’s the constant pull and push that drains the tank, that drives the engine fueled by hatred, and the brand is self.

Countless reasons to be sad; an unworthy creature, ugliness inside, a hateful mother to tan one’s hide, an uncaring father that won’t approve, a crappy education system, failed exams, pushing unexpected prams, a lover that cheats, a friend that steals, disappointing government bills, a rebellious child, a lack of wealth, poor health, a war in the east, a husband killed, a greeting filled with cancer, and a loving dog that dies at one’s feet. A million reasons outside when the problem is one and inside of you.

A mind fooled into believing it is a body and identified with an ego that yields to guilt and attracts fear. The insane symbol of an attack on God, the impossible believed possible, and the destruction of peace. Punishing the self to mitigate what is feared and believed, a separate life lived alone, and the retaliation from the hand of a cruel and angry Creator. Who could identify with hellish guilt and live an innocent life in a state of heaven?

Oh sweet child, you made a mistake in what you believed for you have learned you are what you are not, and what you couldn’t be light of my soul. You’re still Holy Spirit, wholeness in Love and one with the heart of your Father. My love, you’re still My holy Son, eternally innocent, wholly loving, forever loved, as limitless as your Creator, and completely changeless and pure. Therefore awaken and return your mind to Me. I am your Father and you are My Son. Identify with the spirit and you’re home and free so come heavenly beauty and dance the light fantastic with Me.


Is it Self-Sabotage or Self-Protection?

Good things don’t last, a nagging voice in my head warns me. You may be feeling good right now but something bad will surely come along soon.

Is the looming threat of pain as inevitable as my inner critic tells me? Well, we do know that life in this body is finite. Everything is transient, impermanent. But this fact can become a source of fear (sh*t, I could die tomorrow!) or a source of openness and possibility (how precious is my life and every moment unfolding!)

I am learning to choose possibility and positivity. And, for me at least, it is not a floating-away-in-the-clouds, one-time decision to make. It is a nitty-gritty, in the trenches process. Here is what it might look like:

1. I have a fearful thought.

2. I feel my body tightening; I feel the knot in my stomach.

3. As I notice my contraction into a fear-influenced state, I have a choice: let the fear take me over, or hold it in my hands.

4. If I can hold it in front of me, see it, acknowledge it, validate it, then I can let it go. I can offer it to the light, and feel my internal poise realigning with the light and peace that I am.

Photo by Milada Vigerova on Unsplash

Throughout the day, I repeat the process. I worry. I get stuck. I choose to release.

Most of the time, at least. Sometimes I am still pulled into the dark cage of fear, feeling trapped. It may be due to exhaustion. It may be a case of automatically taking the well-worn path of negativity. Or it may be self-sabotage, which at its root is just a form of protection.

Whaaaaaat??? How can self-sabotage be a form of protection? Well let’s go back to my original limiting belief: good things don’t last. This could certainly be called self-sabotage since the thought can rapidly bring me down from a state of happiness, enjoyment or relaxation. But in a backward way, my psyche is just trying to protect me from disappointment. Feeling amazing for a long time brings me out of my comfort zone where I stay small and safe. The possibility of big dreams and present-moment-fulfillment also comes with the risk of pain and disappointment. So it’s no wonder that part of me tries to stay in the familiar mode of surviving rather than thriving.

It is such a relief to stop berating myself for my self-sabotaging thoughts, and instead to honor them as a form of self-protection. I can acknowledge them without letting the worry take over. I can reach out my hands and let it go into the light. As I do so, I feel my own light strengthening with each day.

A Practical Guide to Curses

Intrusions: curses, spells, contracts, vows, intentions…

Curses and Intention

powerfully angry wordspowerfully angry wordspowerfully angry words
Words have power.

WORDS are powerful forms of expression and powerful energies. When words are combined with intense emotion, the emotion acts as fuel for the word, the greater the emotion, the greater the fuel.
An intention puts things into motion universally. Life force is also fuel. Throughout history, sacrifices have been performed and given to add extreme power to an intention. The majority of us do not live in a culture such as this, perhaps making such an idea seem foreign and primitive. However, regardless of our lack of appreciation for sacrifice, many peoples still use a form of sacrifice to ensure the power of a ceremony.

Someone may try many ways to heal. They have read the books, done the workshops, gone to both allopathic and alternative practitioners, but their condition persists. They have something chronic: pain, misfortune, failure, chronic weight loss. As a shamanic healer I find answers often hidden in other lifetimes of my patient. I use tracking techniques to search for sources of whatever may be considered “Chronic”. Sometimes, I find the source, in the form of a curse a often it was placed in another lifetime. We attempt to unravel it, seek to understand its origins, return, usually, with instructions to complete the physical unbinding, to the patient. The intention is to break the cycle of the “chronic”.

Shamanism does not view lifetimes as linear — past, present, future — but all happening simultaneously. If there was a spell, curse, oath, promise, declaration, vow or contract that was created in another lifetime that has a huge amount of life force with it, it is very likely that life force is still alive and activated in the energy system. The energy of the “contract” is still in motion and affecting this lifetime. Journeys into these other lifetimes and changing the situation in that lifetime literally changes the outcome that the client is living today. I find this work fascinating and effective.
There are many ways that curses and spells can be activated. Watch a few movies to get a feel for the drama of the past. Declaration, vows, and oaths were common. Great ceremonies and rituals often sealed the deal. Energy was put into motion in a dynamic way with lots of life force and emotion.

The Hatfield Clan in 1897The Hatfield Clan in 1897The Hatfield Clan in 1897
The Hatfield Clan in 1897

The Hatfields and McCoys are a classic example of feuding that is passed on energetically, to the offspring. The offspring, are then raised in an environment that automatically sees fault and disdain for either family name. I cast my eye to regions of the world who have seldom experienced long years of peace… feuding for centuries. The vows, the curses, the spells that have been cast, because of these intense feelings can cause enormous amounts of bloodshed.

Blood is only one example of huge amounts of life force. Emotion without the blood can be just as binding. Fear can create power over a person or persons, living on for centuries. The fear of burning in hell has been a controlling device that has proven to be effective, harmful, and invasive. If you want to control people, scare people; it has a darn good track record of effectiveness.

Fear has built enormous thought forms and they affect us all. The fear of survival is a root chakra broadcast (root meaning the basis of all things). If this chakra is out of alignment with its origin of wellness, safety, security, and belonging, the foundation of a person can be altered. With enough individuals expressing this fear, the foundation of a culture can be altered, and all of these broadcasts feed the thought form that lingers.

Many, if not all people have some sort of curse or spell on them. We as a culture tend to be very sloppy with our words, not aware that they are a powerful energy that lives on. We curse ourselves and curse others with words and emotions. Simple self-imposed curses can bind someone energetically from creating the type of life desired or hinder the manifestation of health and dreams.
Words and intentions live on. However, they can be cleared and you can heal from them.

A few simple questions will open the door to streams of past life imprints. Just finish the sentence: “I always…..” or “I never…”

One could answer “I always have to do it all alone” or “I never have enough money.”

Sometimes we even make casual comments when describing our feelings that are loaded with past life imagery, such as, “I feel like a slave”; “My hands are tied”; “I’ve been stabbed in the back”; “There’s no way out.”

These repetitive themes, that we take as actual truth, and that shape our reality, are most likely core themes that past life characters are still unresolved with. They are changeable, but they are also so darn familiar, that one can’t even conceive that it might be possible.

Unravelling a Curse

To begin, I ask “How can we know who we are, if we do not know where we have come from?”, “How do we understand what is affecting us, if we do not, generally, feel our energetic bodies?” I am teaching you the ways of my Mummo. My Mummo (grandma) showed me how to track energy from one place to another. Much like you will do. Energy can look like anything. It can look like a very long rope, it can be a beam of light, it can even be a scent. The energy of a curse varies from curse to curse.

When I am undertaking a new lesson, or learning a new skill, I first merge with my authentic self. Your words may differ, but it is the aspect of me which is my purest spiritual self. After this undertaking, I encourage you to find a spirit that will help you with negotiations to remove the curse or curses ~ your curse negotiator. I often find I am negotiating during journey work, whether it be to get somewhere (across a river), a gatekeeper, an ancestor you wish to seek a direction from. Tracking can lead you to meet some very interesting characters. I set my intention for the journey to be a curse removal. When I begin the journey, my curse negotiator is waiting for me.

This is one of those spiritual healings where your energy can not be given or taken to break the curse or curses because it has nothing to do with you. You and the curse negotiator, may encounter the curse originator and/or the curse creator. They are not always the same person. My curse negotiator is the one, whose role it is, to undo, unbind, or break the curse. I am not allowed to see the negotiations or hear the exchange. Generally, once the task has been completed, I am generally tasked with delivering the final messages to the patient. They often have a task, or a series of tasks, which need to be completed, in order to fully release the physical/mental/emotional body, from the spiritual cause.

Other resources you may enjoy:

  • Our first podcast on curses, and our follow up on past life wounds and curse removal.

There’s a lot more about shamanic healing on our site as well!

If you enjoyed this article, who may, please share it so others may benefit from it as well!

Originally published at Shamans Way.

A Bitch’s Guide to Forgiveness

No one can hold a grudge longer than me. I’m an Aries with a Scorpio rising, instilled with a righteous sense of right and wrong. It doesn’t take much for me to get pissed and cut you out of my life for good.

But I’m evolving.

There’s an ancient bit of wisdom that’s been passed down from St. Augustine, or the Buddha, Nelson Mandela, Anne Lamott, or someone in AA, that declares: “Resentment is like drinking poison and hoping the other person will die.”

Pretty true.

What purpose does resentment serve, anyway? It’s not exactly productive when you think about it. Anger, on the other hand… Anger you can (and sometimes should) spew. You can direct it at the deserving (and sometimes those not). The downside is it’s not always easy to control. Anger is some pretty powerful stuff. It is, as John Lydon so wisely reminded us, an energy.

Resentment is masturbation.

But anger can be exhausting and, usually, once it’s been purged, it diminishes. Sometimes it shifts into relief, sometimes guilt or shame, others into euphoric victory. But, if it hasn’t been properly exorcised, anger can spoil and morph into the putrid swamp of resentment. Resentment is the quicksand of your soul. It can keep you stuck. Pull you down. Smother you slowly. It is murderous masturbation.

Pain can make us crazy. Especially if it’s inflicted by someone we trust — a lover, significant other, parent, friend, colleague or boss. When your heart is broken or trust betrayed, it brings about a form of madness. You want revenge. You want the perpetrator to feel as shitty and small as they made you feel. You want them to know your searing anguish and then some.

Rage comes naturally, and it’s not easy to let go of. It’s a sturdy substance, something you can lean on. Grow addicted to, if we’re being honest. When someone has done you wrong, completely f*cked you over — and the vented anger did little to calm your hurt — holding a grudge, feeling resentful and hating their bloody guts is popularly considered the sane reaction. You are supposed to despise those who are morally corrupt, sinister and downright awful. Damn straight, you are! After all, you are right and they are wrong. Resentment is a badge of honor and you will wear it proudly. Because what else are you supposed to do — forgive them?

Well, yeah.

Now, before you get all pissy and start moaning about weakness and being in the right, think about that bit of wisdom mentioned above. The bile of ire churning in your belly is only burning a hole in you. It holds no power over the asshat who hurt you. It’s pointless when you think about it. About as useful as tits on a bull. The logical thing to do is forgive.

Now, if you think I’m about to get all flowery and talk romantically about the power of forgiveness, you must’ve forgotten the title. Let’s get a few things straight:

Forgiveness isn’t weak. It takes a metric f*ck ton of strength and courage to manage. Forgiveness is not at act of submission. It’s not something you have to deliver personally to the offender with a white rose and deep bow. Forgiveness is a glass of the good stuff you raise to yourself. It is something you deserve. Yes, you are forgiving someone who was a shit, but you are doing it for you. And it takes a badass to the max to pull off such an act.

Here’s the best part:

As a Buddhist (didn’t see that one coming, did you), I believe it was Shakyamuni who the served that sage advice. Because, once you forgive a person, once you stop holding on to the resentment that ties you to your foe, you step out of the way and Karma can take over.

And remember, darling: Karma is a bitch.

Karma doesn’t let much slip by. You may not see the comeuppance walloped on the person who did you dirty, but it will arrive in a splendid fashion, sure to give that jerk what’s deserved. Best part? You don’t have to lift a flipping finger to help. It will all be done for you. You are free to move about the cabin of life while the turd who wronged you is stuck in his stinking seat.

So, what do you have to lose by forgiving?

The biggest hurdle will be your ego. It’s your shield and protector, especially when bruised. It won’t like letting go of resentment. After all, resentment has held your ego steady since the blow. Fortified it, even. And now that you’ve considered forgiving, it’s going to grow stubborn. Fight back. Tell you how silly you are for giving such a villain that kind of satisfaction. Don’t listen to it. Be ballsy and forgive the POS already. Worst case scenario? I’m wrong about all this and all you have to do is go back to resenting everyone, including me.

Forgive and forget? Not on your life.

Forgiveness does not require amnesia. As a matter of fact, I recommend taking ginkgo biloba to keep your mind sharp. You want your wits about you so you don’t end up hurt by the same person or in the same way ever again. You’ve been baptized by fire; you don’t have to take that shit anymore. But, if you do want to forget all about it, go for it. Once forgiveness is bestowed, you don’t have to revisit the matter. If you do find it crossing your mind, you’ll likely yawn because you’re so totally over it.

Forgiveness does not require you to let that person back into your life. It’s not amnesty. You can forgive someone and still be all Bye, Felicia. How you move forward is your choice, but there are no requirements to give the offender a free pass, have them over for dinner and become besties. Forgiving someone in no way let’s them off the hook. It only serves to set you free.

Which is why you should forgive.

So, why not give it a shot? Best case scenario? You forgive, feel f*cking amazing(er) and wonder why the hell you didn’t do it sooner. Because, once you release that resentment, you will feel lighter. You will be able to breathe deep again. It’s utter liberation. With the poison purged, you can focus on yourself, the people you really love, and living the goddamn good life.


Thank God I am Not a Doctor!

I am not a doctor. I am a healer.

I am interested in health. I am not interested in disease.

I have been learning about how to create a healthy body for over 20 years of my life, and there is a lot of medical information involved, so it sounds like I’d better studied medicine at a decent university and became a GP — This would have given me a solid background in health, right?

No. The opposite is actually true. The more I learn about health, the more I realize how medicine is anti-health. This might sound strange to you if you have always trusted doctors.

The truth as I see it now, is that a doctor is someone who has been taught to think about health in a certain way (a wrong way).

The only thing doctors have learned about health over decades of studies and practice is how to prescribe the “perfect” medication (drug) for each health condition.

Doctors have invested too much in this to be able to acknowledge anything else.

For a doctor, there is no such thing as treating a disease in a natural way. Drugs and surgeries are the ONLY ways. Insane!

The Ignored Causes of Disease

There are two sources of disease that are totally ignored by modern medicine — Emotional Stress & Nutritional Deficiencies. A doctor has got absolutely no idea about how to deal with health problems caused by emotional stress or by malnutrition.

In fact, these two factors are basically not considered to be causes of disease in modern medicine but rather factors in the exacerbations of an already established disease.

I have noticed that whenever the cause of a disease is emotional stress or malnutrition, the disease would be described as idiopathic (i.e. it has no known cause).

Idiopathic Disease?

Now, how many health conditions are idiopathic?

You might think that only 5% of health conditions are idiopathic and that modern medicine has already identified the cause of 95% of all health problems.

I have to disappoint you and tell you the truth (which you can basically find in every medical reference). The truth is the exact opposite: medicine has identified the cause of 5% of health conditions, and we are left with 95% of health problems being dumped as idiopathic.

Do you know that cancer, diabetes, asthma, kidney stones and high blood pressure are all idiopathic health conditions?

Why are they still idiopathic? Because the cause is emotional stress and nutritional deficiencies, and therefore a doctor is not trained to treat them in the right way. In other words, if the cause is stress, then the treatment is to clear the stress, not to prescribe a medication or surgery.

And if the cause is nutritional deficiency, then the treatment is to change the diet, not to just add vitamin pills and medications.

I am a Free Thinker

I am glad I am not a doctor. As a free thinker, I am able to look into medical research and alternative health methods with an objective eye and build my own opinion about what is true and what is clearly false.

I needed to develop a lot of insights until I could discern true from false health information.

It is still not easy but I am far better in understanding what is a false and useless pieces of information and what is a useful piece of information.

Be Your Own Doctor

To be healthy in this era, you need to learn what makes your body healthy. Doctors aren’t going to tell you.

One reason that almost no doctor would give you any “good” information about how you can stay healthy and how to prevent disease is that most doctors have got no idea about what makes you healthy. In addition, most doctors are too influenced by the food and pharmaceutical industries.

“The system is based on disease and not health, there is no money when people are healthy.”

Medical Education

Medicine students become doctors by going through a heavy load of memorizing names and chemical processes in anatomy, physiology, pathology and pharmacology. Medicine students have got absolutely no time to question the truth of what they are learning.

When they graduate and start working in a hospital or in a clinic, they are often working more than 10 hours a day, and most of them have to work at night as well.

The only way a medicine student can become a doctor and stay accepted as a doctor is to just follow the instructions. What if most the instructions are not correct. What if there is an easy cure for cancer but most oncologist spend a minimum of a decade learning about how to do chemotherapy and surgery to remove cancer tumors.

Do you think that a “normal” doctor would have the time to find out the best way to cure cancer? Or is it the sad truth that doctors are also human beings with limited time and they are just into medicine to make a living and have a decent income?

I tell you the one thing doctors are able to do: prescribe the “right” drug and make the “right” surgery.

I am not saying that this is not important for your health. It is sometimes the best way to get your health back especially if you are going through an emergency.

But what if most of your health problems are stemming from a dietary deficiency or emotional stress? Doctors are still going to prescribe drugs and surgery.

You will end up having a bit less pain and a bit less stress, but you will become dependent on a drug and you will lose some parts of your body through surgeries.

The main cause of your health problem would remain untouched. This means that you will never be really healthy in this way.

This is why it is very wise to become your own doctor. I am not saying that you need to self-medicate yourself.

On the contrary, I am saying that you need to learn more and more about how to keep yourself in perfect emotional and physical health.

Read and learn as much as you can.

Be open-minded and flexible because in this way you will open up to huge resources of knowledge. Don’t trust doctors and don’t be too reluctant to listen to doctors.

Doctors have sometimes a good point, but from my experience, they are not going to fix you unless you are in severe pain.

If your problem is not very acute, then chances are that you can gradually learn about the best ways to keep your health by learning about diet, exercise, stress relief, and lifestyle before you become totally dependent on doctors and hospitals.

Are you lost in a seemingly exitless labyrinth of well-intended advice and information?

In a world strongly dominated by new innovations and modern science, the solution to almost everything these days seems to be a quick-fix in the shape of an electronic gadget, an app, or even a pill.

Photo by Greg Rakozy on Unsplash

True and tested methods take too much time, too much effort, and brings us too far outside our hard-earned comfort zone. A zone, which by the way, seems to be getting ever more comfortable, while at the same time moving us further and further away from our ancestral traits, skills, and behaviors. We truly are highly adaptable creatures.

Are you too lazy or don’t have enough time to perform household chores, take your kids to practice, or walk the dog? No problem. Get out your smart phone, unlock it by the brief touch of your thumb (or a quick scan of your eye’s retina), open the appropriate app, and push the “order now” button. If you’re really sophisticated you’ll perform the above on your smart watch, or by giving voice commands to your virtual assistant. Shortly after, somebody will be at your doorstep ready to take care of all your problems. There quite literally is always “an app for that” nowadays. Quick-fixes for everyone and everything!

Photo by Thom Holmes on Unsplash

This is also true when it comes to health related issues such as curing mundane diseases and various lifestyle disorders. It seems that the general belief today is that “if you can’t fix it with a pill, then it’s not fixable.” Why do we put so much faith in mass-produced, synthetic pills and so little faith in ourselves? Important note: Modern medicine and pills are doing wonderful things, and we should be extremely glad that science and research has gotten us to where we are today.

The important question we need to ask ourselves is: Do we want there to be a pill for everything or should we seek to find natural ways of healing where possible?

Why do we put so much faith in mass-produced, synthetic pills and so little faith in ourselves?

In many cases there are great alternatives if we only manage to bring ourselves slightly out of our comfort zone on a regular basis. Yes it takes effort and sacrifice, in terms of less time on the phone or in front of the TV, but it’s hardly rocket science. One of the major problems in today’s omni-connected society is information overload. Month-by-month it gets incrementally more difficult to separate real news from fake news, valid claims from false claims, and what truly works from what doesn’t. This also applies to health and lifestyle topics, such as weight management and fitness.

No wonder then that so many of us get lost in a seemingly exitless labyrinth of well-intended advice and information, while searching for the holy grail of health benefits. Just like “there’s an app for that,” there also seems to be a pill, diet, cure, method, or other remedy that will magically make your lifestyle problems and health issues go away in a split second. Still, when all is said and done, when every dubious blog article has been read and debunked, and every over-promising fitness guru thoroughly undressed, it comes down to this simple realization:

Only you can empower your body, mind, and soul to heal.

Photo by Parker Johnson on Unsplash

Towards Chester

It was during a medical trip to Cuba that I first grew to love your song, “Breaking the Habit.” Every morning, I’d watch MTV on the hospital television and wait for your voice to flow from the speakers and then, I would wail along with you. I was two years deep into a struggle against a sickness that wished to swallow me but everyday, it was you – and your friends huddled behind you, pulling magic from their instruments – that saved me from a darker place. It was with you that I professed myself a new man, not plagued by any of the demons that waited on my doorstep last night. And this was not the only war that you helped me fight, Chester.

The battle for a worthy enough identity is one that many teenagers are thrown into weaponless. When my time came, I had to craft some place of refuge out of whatever materials were available. For myself, and many other black children in the early 2000’s, anime became a landscape in which we could relate our battles to. With the new frontiers of the internet at our fingertips bringing anything we wished right up to our own eyes for our consumption, and with this new canvas of Japanese animation that we had never seen or heard of before, it felt like we had discovered our very own joy that was made just for us and no one else. We managed to find ourselves, one way or the other, in the plots of our favorite shows: Naruto, a ninja first shunned because the things that made him powerful were deeply misunderstood; One Piece, an escape to a new and more vibrant place where everyone was at least as bizarre as you were and the only requirement for acceptance was proximity; and, of course, Bleach, in which the mantra of its protagonist — “I will save the world and everyone in it with my own strength and willpower” — was most relatable to us and our own mantras — “ I will fight my way out of this loneliness and find a place for myself with these bare hands.”

And is that not what you taught us, Chester? To run into the battle against depression and desolation with our weapons unsheathed and battle cries ready? It was no mistake that during the early years of the new millennium, when your landmark albums Meteora and Hybrid Theory were released, a good chunk of YouTube’s viewership was sourced from music videos made by people that stood at the intersection of anime fans and fans of your music. It was a perfect union: the characters, in which we saw ourselves, fighting for survival to the same music that served as the soundtrack for our own challenges. It is no wonder that I myself made videos that took my frustrations in the war of growing up and channelled them into something real and consumable, something that I hoped at least helped in the healing of someone else.

Of course, I know it has always been mostly about that Chester. Healing. Healing through whatever means necessary; whatever keeps us here a bit longer; whatever leaves us refreshed after our battles so we may someday win the war.

Chester, it is because of you that I saw the light from behind the darkness that gathered in front of my eyes. It was your words which assured me that I, in fact, could comfort myself and did not need anyone else when I could not find a place to belong in my formative years. Even today, it is you that reminds me how to close all of my doors and howl as loud as I need to shake myself free of the grief a lover left behind after she walked out and promised to never return.

On the cover of your last album, One More Light, there is the image of an almost violet sunset and an open beach where children are walking toward the crashing of ocean waves. I look at the image now and I can hear laughter. I can hear how eager the children are to dip themselves into the glowing water.

I believe I dreamed myself a place like this when I first heard your voice as a teenager; a shoreline where I can dip my head into the water and emerge unbroken. I imagine you exist in a place like this now. No battle to be fought. Nothing left to escape. Whatever place you imagined you would roam when you, someday, were finally fully healed.

Right now, I am holding those I love, who are in close proximity, tightly to my chest, and I am also reaching out to those who I love that are far away. While grieving you, Chester, I am checking in to see if anyone is in need of your music tonight.

Mars is in Aries and I’ve been feeling this urge to communicate and express myself in a different…

Hey. It’s already January 2, and I’m digging it.

Mars is in Aries and I’ve been feeling this urge to communicate and express myself in a different way.

If I were to pick a few words to describe the start of the year they’d be: 
excitement — optimism — possibility — responsibility — change — authenticity
awareness — N e w S t r u c t u r e s.

We usually end up a year wishing for the best to come, and letting behind all the bad stuff or not-so-good things to stay away from us, in the past where they belong. Life is better when we are living in the present time rather than investing lots of energy trying to revive old experiences.

Let me tell you something. It feels really nice when you live one day at a time, without the anxiety of the future, and the longing of the past.

I deserve to be happy. You deserve to be happy. We all deserve it.

Forgive yourself, give yourself the love you’re expecting to receive from someone else, and start living through your own skin. It is not a waste of time, nor is a waste of energy. At first, it’d probably feel a little bit awkward. We are not used to do that, and we were not taught how to do it at school, but it’s possible to unlearn and learn, from scracht. Once you know how does it feel to be loved by you, you won’t settle for less. You will recognize when someone gives you genuine love, and you will also attract people whose energy is similar to yours.


Allow yourself to start over, to make mistakes, to not be perfect, to say no, to stay home when you feel you need to, to not know all the answers, to change your mind, to fall in love again, to get excited like a child, to wonder in nature, to breathe fully, to uncover your desire and take actions in order to manifest it, (whatever this could be). Allow yourself to feel, because those emerging feelings are your personal map to your healing and your own success, don’t try to compare it to someone else’s. — Allow yoursef to live your truth.

So, let’s start by throwing away those shoulds and shouldnt’s, one by one. 
The south Node in Capricorn invites us to bring down all the structures not serving our purpose. The North Node in Cancer encourages us to be our home wherever we go, to build a home in our own terms, and also to let go of old bad habits we used to feel so familiar with but we know (deep down) they don’t work out for us anymore.

It is certainly up to us to choose the rhythm, color palette, sound, shape, length, flavor, intensity, attitude and spark we put into our life.

The world needs the Universe within each one of us.


IP.S: I found this band on January 1st and I couldn’t help but love their sound. I’m glad they are part of my first entry on this site. I hope we get to enjoy ourselves while it lasts.

to 2019 and the amazing experiences coming with the new cycle,